[ there's a pause here and hawke pinches the bridge of his nose. maker, she is not good at this kind of talk at all. she's really really not. but there's ... there's just one thing really, she can say about this. she supposes it will help put things into context. ]

No. I know perfectly well what it's like to feel helpless while your friends run off and fight for you. I -- [ a pause. does she want to say it? ] I lost my brother that way and it's my fault. Only mine.

[ well, she said it. ]

Being a leader isn't the greatest thing. I, personally, have never wanted to be a leader and finding yourself becoming one is... unfortunate. Yet, if you're a leader, if you're chosen to be a leader, shouldn't that mean the skills you already have have merit enough?