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[ He's... not surprised at her response. While his question was just a counterargument to how ridiculous her own question was, he had wondered what qualities he has to bring to the table besides the circumstance of their first meeting. ... Especially in a place like this where nobody can treat her like a celebrity in the first place. How does he stand out? ]

Great - so we're together because you died and because I was a sheltered dimwit at the right place at the right time. Great talk, Pyrrha.

[ He's about to walk off like the dramatic diva he is, but his steps slow down, and eventually he turns slightly to face her again. He's upset, but... he can't leave her alone in a place like this.

Truth be told, he doesn't want her to ever feel alone, even if they're out of sync right now. ]

Winter Ball on the Eve of December 26th. ... Do you remember that?

[ She had been prepared to let him go, willing - if not ready - to resign herself to solitude and the dark, to chasing off the best thing in her life out of some high-minded notion that it was best for him. When Jaune stops, he takes that choice from her, his back blurry in her tear-stricken vision.

Her words are hiccuped out, unstrung with brittle emotion. ]

... a little.

[ Bits and pieces spike through the whirl: the sharp, white lights; Yang's pale gold dress; Sousei's smile at the end of their dance. And, always, Jaune at the centre. Holding her hand, dancing with her, walking her home -- ]

Everything from that time feels a bit like a dream.

[ That's something Pyrrha hasn't told anyone yet, not really. ]

Edited 2016-09-07 08:58 (UTC)

[ It's almost literally a lifetime ago, given what they've been through since then. ]

I asked if you would be my date, and you said yes, even after my... embarrassing song routine. I remember the dress you wore, the way you just stood out without ever needing to try. The way you danced, the way you spoke with others, the way I felt when I was with you.

...
I was going to kiss you, you know? But... we got interrupted, and then I just... I lost my nerve I guess. It's pathetic, really. Eventually, after you disappeared, I just talked myself out of it. I thought, maybe I just imagined us, right? It made more sense than the alternative.

[ The point of this whole monologue, if Pyrrha hadn't caught on, is that his feelings for her manifested long before she died. Even after he went back to Remnant and forgotten his life in Cerealia, he fell in love all over again on their last day together, when they ate fairy floss before Pyrrha's sanctioned match.

He's far from confused about what she means to him. ]

[ She gets why he's saying this, and it hurts, or maybe it makes her want to go to him, end this stupid disagreement or whatever it is. Pyrrha feels like she did on her first day back in the colony, untethered and insubstantial, longing to wrap her arms around him and lean her forehead against his back. The impulse gets the better of her and she does exactly that. He'll notice her breath skirting between his shoulder blades, warm tears dampening his hoodie - again, for what seems like the millionth time. Enough times to grow tired and frustrated with it: sick of crying, sick of being afraid, sick of being there just to kiss him goodbye.

It's little wonder he's so unimpressed with her right now. Pyrrha hasn't been a fan of herself for weeks.

Regardless, she holds tight, making him bear some of her weight as her shoulders shake, just barely holding a sob. ]

Edited 2016-09-07 17:21 (UTC)

[ Jaune stands still, grounded and unmoving as he chooses to be a literal pillar of support. He knows what's going on behind him, it wasn't too long when he broke down and cried when they reunited. ]

Pyrrha... I have no illusions about what will happen if we ever go home. The fact that you're here now, however, proves that we can't know everything. [ It's not false hope, in his eyes, it's extremely cautious optimism mixed with a sense of acceptance if it goes the other way. Not unlike a terminal illness, sadly. ]

Whatever happens, I'll-- ...I can't change what you mean to me. I don't want to.

[ Some part of her still wants to fight the idea that his heart ends when she does, but her body is quailing in the aftershock of her breakdown, throat raw and her voice refusing to assist her. It won't matter, anyway - if he won't relent now, he certainly won't relent when she finally gathers herself. Defeat leaves her limp as a cutstring puppet, despising the part of her that's happy for this.

Eventually, the crying eases. She's left with clear traces of it on her face, eyes damp and reddened, loose hair clinging to tear streaks.

... ] Let's get out of here, okay?

[ She is able to stand on her own, albeit a bit wobbily so, and - ugh, she probably looks really gross right now. In the aftermath of her freak out, Pyrrha's contrite and quiet, more than a little ashamed. ]

Of course.

[ When he turns around to look at her, he certainly doesn't see anyone gross. She's hurting, and in the end he'll blame himself like he always does. Pyrrha pushed him in the locker because he couldn't have helped her - not the other way around.

But maybe he can help her now. He'll certainly never stop trying, no matter what happens between them.

A hand on her cheek, he wipes a tear streak with his thumb. ]

We'll go anywhere you want, Pyrrha.

[ He had talked about the winter ball, describing his recollections with such detail, desperate and loving -- but Pyrrha will always remember this best: Jaune comforting her when she doesn't even deserve it, with a tender expression and a touch she isn't sure she'll ever get used to (isn't sure she wants to, really).

There's nothing he could have said that would have soothed her more. In answer, there's a trembling attempt at a smile, there and then gone.

She knows she doesn't want to go home, not yet. Home is a calm place; home shouldn't have to deal with her right now. Pyrrha looks around, taking his words perhaps a bit more literally than either of them expected, and then, on utter whim, chooses the tallest building in the immediate area. ]

Up there.

[ The roof. ]

Edited 2016-09-08 17:04 (UTC)

Up... there?

[ Jaune follows her gaze and notes how tall the building is. ]

...P-Pyrrha, I know things are a bit -- yeah. But I still think there's a light at the end of this tunnel!

[ ......He thinks she's suggesting lovers suicide??? This is like first semester all over again. ]

[ ...

?????????

He gets a look. ]

What do you think I want to go up there for?

[ NOT FOR THAT, MAN. ]

[ ????????

g...ulps...... ]

W-Well, I don't imagine we'll be sparring...

[ ... Shaking her head, but there's amusement and fondness in it. In a way, he helped her, startling her out of her own overwhelming distraught. ]

No, not tonight.

[ Pyrrha reaches to take his hand, hoping to find him accepting. ]

I just thought -- we can probably see the whole colony from up there.

[ Not only does he take her hand, he squeezes back a little, as if it's something he's been wanting to do ever since they met up here. ]

What's left of it, you mean. [ He says jokingly, before realizing that's probably not a laughing matter at all. ] ... I like that idea.

[ What's left of it — He's right, it isn't funny. In fact, it makes her stomach churn, because this colony is her last chance at any sort of life and if it falls apart... Wilfully, Pyrrha doesn't allow herself to think about that right now. She focuses entirely on Jaune.

Starting to move, she leads him. As ever, it's only until he decides he'd rather take charge. ]

... Jaune? [ Her words are blurted out, rather abruptly. ] You never imagined anything. And - it's not just because you were at the right place at the right time.

O-Oh...

[ He's not quite convinced of it, but that's only because he doesn't know what he has to offer that nobody better than him can't. It would make sense for his next question to be along the lines of "then why?", but... if anybody needs a self-esteem boost tonight, it's Pyrrha. He doesn't strictly need to know why they're together, he's just happy that they are. ]

I'm-- glad. ...And I'm sorry. Y'know, for... not seeing it sooner. And then being afraid of messing it up somehow.

You came after me tonight.

[ In hindsight, her little stunt with the letter feels remarkably passive aggressive, and she'll be horrifically embarrassed later - but, at the time, it had been the only course her wrenching feelings would allow. Pyrrha would never demand him to prove himself, but he did anyway. Maybe, on some level, it helps. Makes her - them - stronger. ]

You never messed up anything.

[ He appreciates the sentiment, but it's not necessary - not in this case. ]

We both know that's not true.

[ Flashbacks of Amber being pierced by an arrow, in the same place where Pyrrha eventually would. Jaune failed his guard duty in that moment. ]

But I'd like to think we can all make up for our mistakes. Otherwise, what's the point...

[ She leads him through the doors and into the building. It's more or less abandoned: the only lights on are red emergency lights, but it hasn't yet fallen into any extreme disrepair. And, anyway, the stairs are solid, just around the corner. As they start to head up, Pyrrha puts her free hand on the railing, feels the metal rattle under her touch, and takes her hand back off.

Implicitly, his words read a lot like forgiveness. Maybe she has to conclude that he was never actually angry at her, that he won't wake up one day and force her to confront shoving him in the locker.

Just when she thought she couldn't feel more for him - ]

Jaune, nothing... nothing that happened that night was your fault. [ ... ] Repeat that back to me.

Some things were.

[ Not everything, obviously. He wonders if he could have been more focused has he not been kept in the dark. ]

I never even knew her name, but-- she was a person like you and me. She died alone. [ Like Pyrrha. Like Jaune could someday. ] If she were to appear here like you have, I'd be a jerk not to owe her an apology, too.

[ Truthfully, Pyrrha never had any illusions about the Fall Maiden's ability to survive the aura transferal process, but - it doesn't seem worth saying now. ]

... Her name was Amber.

[ Shaking her head, Pyrrha fights off a wince. ]

I'm sorry, Jaune. I don't like talking about her.

Yeah, no kidding.

[ Talking about her only humanizes the girl in the machine, right? And not talking won't change that they're both thinking about her anyway. In some ways, it doesn't sit well with Jaune to just never talk about her, like it's an irrelevant thing, even though he was just the same when he was grieving for Pyrrha. ]

I won't bring it up. [ He quickly corrects himself: ] Amber. [ Her. ]

--I'm sorry.

[ His comment is a bit biting, until he eases into apology, and Pyrrha's left uncomfortable, even if she understands. It will never be a tidy thing. No one will ever know that, for a split second, her and Amber's mind connected; that Pyrrha still remembers a brutal attack on a road in the middle of nowhere, something she has no business remembering.

Ozpin had been right. The procedure would have altered her fundamentally. Her hand trembles somewhat in Jaune's. ]

... repeat it back to me, [ she says again, simultaneously sounding more and less sure in her insistence. ] "Nothing that happened that night was my fault." Please.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

[ It's the same as saying he was useless from the start, unable to change things even if he had the chance to go back. ]

A leader doesn't shirk responsibility - I can't say what you want me to.

[ As usual, their words collide unevenly. Pyrrha's begun to resign herself to this, viewing it as a bump in the road rather than a legitimate detriment to their relationship. And, noticeably, she doesn't insist a third time. ]

I just don't want you to get torn up wondering if you could have done things differently when I'm --

[ - gone. She's trying so hard to get him to embrace his future, and he's been fighting her every step of the way. ]

[ A little sadly, but with resignation: ] It's too late for that.

[ For him, months have passed since that night. One conversation isn't going to change how he feels about his personal shortcomings - and he knows he's not the only one either. Everyone that Pyrrha had left behind is blaming themselves for something, Ruby most of all.

Jaune lets those words sink in as they finally reach the rooftop. Since they're on the subject, the view almost looks like the way Beacon currently does, minus the Grimm.

He doesn't mention that. ]

action.

metalist - 2016-09-12 07:13 (UTC) - Expand