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[ He's right, even as she struggles not to flinch at the brutal honesty of his words. She hadn't had any right to read his personal note.

And, unsurprisingly, she doesn't feel any better when he crumples up the letter. It doesn't make anything else she said less true, at least in Pyrrha's eyes. ]

... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been in your stuff to begin with.

It's alright, I didn't mean to... hide it from you. [ There isn't a lot he would want to hide from her. His heart belongs to her, despite what Pyrrha may think at the moment. ]

I just forgot to throw it out. The letter, it's... it's not what you think.

[ He doesn't blame her, though, even Jaune was fooled for a while. It wasn't a love letter that Pyrrha found, but a tangible reminder of his own naivety. ]

Well —

[ Somewhat helplessly, she extends her arms outward. She believes him - as she loves him, she trusts him - but. There’s more here, emotions still weighing heavily on her neck and closing her throat. It’s worse than it had been with him and Weiss, because that had never been real. ]

… how did you feel when you first read it?

[ He sighs, having anticipated that question somewhat. ]

How do you think I felt? [ He guesses that Pyrrha knows him well enough to imagine how he'd feel about being accepted, validated, loved... things he wanted all along, things he's had all along without realizing it at the time. ]

Things were... things were different back then. Before-- everything. ...I know how I feel now.

[ She does know, which is part of the problem. She would never want him to feel like his life on Remnant needs to be devoid of love, or affection. ]

You found what you needed, didn’t you?

[ It didn’t have to be her. It simply needs to be someone kind, someone he’s comfortable with. ]

I want you to remember that when I’m – …when we’re not together anymore.

[ Jaune tenses up when Pyrrha talks of a possible future without her, as if he hadn't already lived it for months. He knows how broken he'll be when she's gone, and he knows the amount of strength it will take from him to keep going for the sake of others. ]

If that day comes, don't think my feelings will change.

[ Too much has happened for him to ever love anyone else. His priorities shifted on the day Pyrrha died because that was the day he really found what he needed, before he apparently lost it forever. ]

All I'll remember is you. It will always be you.

No!

[ It's the second time in her life she's ever raised her voice to him. As her shout trails off, all the metal in a thirty foot radius begins to rattle. ]

There's a flamethrower here. [ shiho????? wait, he shouldn't be surprised. ]

...A-Are you guys okay now? I know there's nothing I can do to help, but... it feels weird not doing anything.

[ Jaune doesn't notice the metal shifting around him, so he presses on-- ]

"Pretending"! How can you just say that? Like-- like it doesn't matter! I know that when I'm with you, a-and what I feel for you, it's... more real than anything else out there. More than that dumb letter! And you think I'll just replace that?! Pyrrha, I--

- don't, please.

[ It's a quiet plea, desperate and low enough to be dangerous. He's skirted around the words so many times now and, each time, her answering thought has been the same: don't, no, not yet, I can't.

The rattling metal seems to subside, but there's a low, curious scraping in its place.

It's strange. Once, she would have given anything to hear these things from him.

... ] Jaune, tell me - would you still feel this way if I hadn't died? [ Grief and impossible miracles, these things could confuse his feelings - and, quite possibly, ruin the possibility of him ever healing and moving on. Pyrrha's voice is shaky, on the clear verge of tears as she struggles valiantly to keep her untidy emotions restrained for a moment, another moment, a hundred thousand little seconds where she teeters on the edge of a breakdown. ]

Edited 2016-09-06 20:23 (UTC)

That's so unfair! Would you have liked me had I known who you were back then? Or could any idiot have accidentally taken my place?

[ ...

It is unfair, applying impossible differentials to their situation. Visibly, some fight leaves her stance, shoulders settling.

Quietly, brokenly: ] I'm not sure.

[ Now, that shaky threat of emotion manifests, downturned eyes becoming damp with tears. ]

Edited 2016-09-06 21:43 (UTC)

It's cool, right? Or, well. Not cool. More like, smoking hot, right? [She winks.]

Yeah. We're...we're fine. It was a bit crazy in our apartment with everyone's powers going out of control a while back.

[She tries to make it sound so simple like she hadn't been terrified, as if her powers going out of control wasn't one of her worst nightmares.]

[ He's... not surprised at her response. While his question was just a counterargument to how ridiculous her own question was, he had wondered what qualities he has to bring to the table besides the circumstance of their first meeting. ... Especially in a place like this where nobody can treat her like a celebrity in the first place. How does he stand out? ]

Great - so we're together because you died and because I was a sheltered dimwit at the right place at the right time. Great talk, Pyrrha.

[ He's about to walk off like the dramatic diva he is, but his steps slow down, and eventually he turns slightly to face her again. He's upset, but... he can't leave her alone in a place like this.

Truth be told, he doesn't want her to ever feel alone, even if they're out of sync right now. ]

Winter Ball on the Eve of December 26th. ... Do you remember that?

[ She had been prepared to let him go, willing - if not ready - to resign herself to solitude and the dark, to chasing off the best thing in her life out of some high-minded notion that it was best for him. When Jaune stops, he takes that choice from her, his back blurry in her tear-stricken vision.

Her words are hiccuped out, unstrung with brittle emotion. ]

... a little.

[ Bits and pieces spike through the whirl: the sharp, white lights; Yang's pale gold dress; Sousei's smile at the end of their dance. And, always, Jaune at the centre. Holding her hand, dancing with her, walking her home -- ]

Everything from that time feels a bit like a dream.

[ That's something Pyrrha hasn't told anyone yet, not really. ]

Edited 2016-09-07 08:58 (UTC)

[ It's almost literally a lifetime ago, given what they've been through since then. ]

I asked if you would be my date, and you said yes, even after my... embarrassing song routine. I remember the dress you wore, the way you just stood out without ever needing to try. The way you danced, the way you spoke with others, the way I felt when I was with you.

...
I was going to kiss you, you know? But... we got interrupted, and then I just... I lost my nerve I guess. It's pathetic, really. Eventually, after you disappeared, I just talked myself out of it. I thought, maybe I just imagined us, right? It made more sense than the alternative.

[ The point of this whole monologue, if Pyrrha hadn't caught on, is that his feelings for her manifested long before she died. Even after he went back to Remnant and forgotten his life in Cerealia, he fell in love all over again on their last day together, when they ate fairy floss before Pyrrha's sanctioned match.

He's far from confused about what she means to him. ]

[ She gets why he's saying this, and it hurts, or maybe it makes her want to go to him, end this stupid disagreement or whatever it is. Pyrrha feels like she did on her first day back in the colony, untethered and insubstantial, longing to wrap her arms around him and lean her forehead against his back. The impulse gets the better of her and she does exactly that. He'll notice her breath skirting between his shoulder blades, warm tears dampening his hoodie - again, for what seems like the millionth time. Enough times to grow tired and frustrated with it: sick of crying, sick of being afraid, sick of being there just to kiss him goodbye.

It's little wonder he's so unimpressed with her right now. Pyrrha hasn't been a fan of herself for weeks.

Regardless, she holds tight, making him bear some of her weight as her shoulders shake, just barely holding a sob. ]

Edited 2016-09-07 17:21 (UTC)

[ Jaune stands still, grounded and unmoving as he chooses to be a literal pillar of support. He knows what's going on behind him, it wasn't too long when he broke down and cried when they reunited. ]

Pyrrha... I have no illusions about what will happen if we ever go home. The fact that you're here now, however, proves that we can't know everything. [ It's not false hope, in his eyes, it's extremely cautious optimism mixed with a sense of acceptance if it goes the other way. Not unlike a terminal illness, sadly. ]

Whatever happens, I'll-- ...I can't change what you mean to me. I don't want to.

[ Some part of her still wants to fight the idea that his heart ends when she does, but her body is quailing in the aftershock of her breakdown, throat raw and her voice refusing to assist her. It won't matter, anyway - if he won't relent now, he certainly won't relent when she finally gathers herself. Defeat leaves her limp as a cutstring puppet, despising the part of her that's happy for this.

Eventually, the crying eases. She's left with clear traces of it on her face, eyes damp and reddened, loose hair clinging to tear streaks.

... ] Let's get out of here, okay?

[ She is able to stand on her own, albeit a bit wobbily so, and - ugh, she probably looks really gross right now. In the aftermath of her freak out, Pyrrha's contrite and quiet, more than a little ashamed. ]

Literally, yes! [ kaoru pls, it's a miracle jaune hasn't burned anything down yet ]

Just what the heck was going on over there? Shiho said it was more dangerous in the apartment than outside of it. That's crazy...

Of course.

[ When he turns around to look at her, he certainly doesn't see anyone gross. She's hurting, and in the end he'll blame himself like he always does. Pyrrha pushed him in the locker because he couldn't have helped her - not the other way around.

But maybe he can help her now. He'll certainly never stop trying, no matter what happens between them.

A hand on her cheek, he wipes a tear streak with his thumb. ]

We'll go anywhere you want, Pyrrha.

[ He had talked about the winter ball, describing his recollections with such detail, desperate and loving -- but Pyrrha will always remember this best: Jaune comforting her when she doesn't even deserve it, with a tender expression and a touch she isn't sure she'll ever get used to (isn't sure she wants to, really).

There's nothing he could have said that would have soothed her more. In answer, there's a trembling attempt at a smile, there and then gone.

She knows she doesn't want to go home, not yet. Home is a calm place; home shouldn't have to deal with her right now. Pyrrha looks around, taking his words perhaps a bit more literally than either of them expected, and then, on utter whim, chooses the tallest building in the immediate area. ]

Up there.

[ The roof. ]

Edited 2016-09-08 17:04 (UTC)

[ Laughing, and then grinning, she keeps a firm hold on his hand and all but pulls him to ~~the end of this thread~~ the bedroom.

Yeah, she doesn't want to just make out. ]

Up... there?

[ Jaune follows her gaze and notes how tall the building is. ]

...P-Pyrrha, I know things are a bit -- yeah. But I still think there's a light at the end of this tunnel!

[ ......He thinks she's suggesting lovers suicide??? This is like first semester all over again. ]

[ ...

?????????

He gets a look. ]

What do you think I want to go up there for?

[ NOT FOR THAT, MAN. ]

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