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"Helloooo! You've reached Jaune Arc! If I'm not answering, it means I'm probably off somewhere fighting monsters or... doing something really awesome like saving a cat, or the president's son! You know how it is, a leader's schedule can be really hectic nowadays, ha ha! Just kidding, I'm probably in school, but I'd totally do those things if I ha-- [BEEP]"
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[ But... he scrunches the paper up for some reason, then turns his back to her as he throws it away. Far, far away. Begone, embarrassing past! ]
Tch, I should've done this a long time ago...
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And, unsurprisingly, she doesn't feel any better when he crumples up the letter. It doesn't make anything else she said less true, at least in Pyrrha's eyes. ]
... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been in your stuff to begin with.
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I just forgot to throw it out. The letter, it's... it's not what you think.
[ He doesn't blame her, though, even Jaune was fooled for a while. It wasn't a love letter that Pyrrha found, but a tangible reminder of his own naivety. ]
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[ Somewhat helplessly, she extends her arms outward. She believes him - as she loves him, she trusts him - but. There’s more here, emotions still weighing heavily on her neck and closing her throat. It’s worse than it had been with him and Weiss, because that had never been real. ]
… how did you feel when you first read it?
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How do you think I felt? [ He guesses that Pyrrha knows him well enough to imagine how he'd feel about being accepted, validated, loved... things he wanted all along, things he's had all along without realizing it at the time. ]
Things were... things were different back then. Before-- everything. ...I know how I feel now.
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You found what you needed, didn’t you?
[ It didn’t have to be her. It simply needs to be someone kind, someone he’s comfortable with. ]
I want you to remember that when I’m – …when we’re not together anymore.
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If that day comes, don't think my feelings will change.
[ Too much has happened for him to ever love anyone else. His priorities shifted on the day Pyrrha died because that was the day he really found what he needed, before he apparently lost it forever. ]
All I'll remember is you. It will always be you.
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[ It's the second time in her life she's ever raised her voice to him. As her shout trails off, all the metal in a thirty foot radius begins to rattle. ]
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"Pretending"! How can you just say that? Like-- like it doesn't matter! I know that when I'm with you, a-and what I feel for you, it's... more real than anything else out there. More than that dumb letter! And you think I'll just replace that?! Pyrrha, I--
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[ It's a quiet plea, desperate and low enough to be dangerous. He's skirted around the words so many times now and, each time, her answering thought has been the same: don't, no, not yet, I can't.
The rattling metal seems to subside, but there's a low, curious scraping in its place.
It's strange. Once, she would have given anything to hear these things from him.
... ] Jaune, tell me - would you still feel this way if I hadn't died? [ Grief and impossible miracles, these things could confuse his feelings - and, quite possibly, ruin the possibility of him ever healing and moving on. Pyrrha's voice is shaky, on the clear verge of tears as she struggles valiantly to keep her untidy emotions restrained for a moment, another moment, a hundred thousand little seconds where she teeters on the edge of a breakdown. ]
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It is unfair, applying impossible differentials to their situation. Visibly, some fight leaves her stance, shoulders settling.
Quietly, brokenly: ] I'm not sure.
[ Now, that shaky threat of emotion manifests, downturned eyes becoming damp with tears. ]
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Great - so we're together because you died and because I was a sheltered dimwit at the right place at the right time. Great talk, Pyrrha.
[ He's about to walk off like the dramatic diva he is, but his steps slow down, and eventually he turns slightly to face her again. He's upset, but... he can't leave her alone in a place like this.
Truth be told, he doesn't want her to ever feel alone, even if they're out of sync right now. ]
Winter Ball on the Eve of December 26th. ... Do you remember that?
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Her words are hiccuped out, unstrung with brittle emotion. ]
... a little.
[ Bits and pieces spike through the whirl: the sharp, white lights; Yang's pale gold dress; Sousei's smile at the end of their dance. And, always, Jaune at the centre. Holding her hand, dancing with her, walking her home -- ]
Everything from that time feels a bit like a dream.
[ That's something Pyrrha hasn't told anyone yet, not really. ]
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I asked if you would be my date, and you said yes, even after my... embarrassing song routine. I remember the dress you wore, the way you just stood out without ever needing to try. The way you danced, the way you spoke with others, the way I felt when I was with you.
...
I was going to kiss you, you know? But... we got interrupted, and then I just... I lost my nerve I guess. It's pathetic, really. Eventually, after you disappeared, I just talked myself out of it. I thought, maybe I just imagined us, right? It made more sense than the alternative.
[ The point of this whole monologue, if Pyrrha hadn't caught on, is that his feelings for her manifested long before she died. Even after he went back to Remnant and forgotten his life in Cerealia, he fell in love all over again on their last day together, when they ate fairy floss before Pyrrha's sanctioned match.
He's far from confused about what she means to him. ]
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It's little wonder he's so unimpressed with her right now. Pyrrha hasn't been a fan of herself for weeks.
Regardless, she holds tight, making him bear some of her weight as her shoulders shake, just barely holding a sob. ]
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Pyrrha... I have no illusions about what will happen if we ever go home. The fact that you're here now, however, proves that we can't know everything. [ It's not false hope, in his eyes, it's extremely cautious optimism mixed with a sense of acceptance if it goes the other way. Not unlike a terminal illness, sadly. ]
Whatever happens, I'll-- ...I can't change what you mean to me. I don't want to.
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Eventually, the crying eases. She's left with clear traces of it on her face, eyes damp and reddened, loose hair clinging to tear streaks.
... ] Let's get out of here, okay?
[ She is able to stand on her own, albeit a bit wobbily so, and - ugh, she probably looks really gross right now. In the aftermath of her freak out, Pyrrha's contrite and quiet, more than a little ashamed. ]
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[ When he turns around to look at her, he certainly doesn't see anyone gross. She's hurting, and in the end he'll blame himself like he always does. Pyrrha pushed him in the locker because he couldn't have helped her - not the other way around.
But maybe he can help her now. He'll certainly never stop trying, no matter what happens between them.
A hand on her cheek, he wipes a tear streak with his thumb. ]
We'll go anywhere you want, Pyrrha.
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There's nothing he could have said that would have soothed her more. In answer, there's a trembling attempt at a smile, there and then gone.
She knows she doesn't want to go home, not yet. Home is a calm place; home shouldn't have to deal with her right now. Pyrrha looks around, taking his words perhaps a bit more literally than either of them expected, and then, on utter whim, chooses the tallest building in the immediate area. ]
Up there.
[ The roof. ]
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[ Jaune follows her gaze and notes how tall the building is. ]
...P-Pyrrha, I know things are a bit -- yeah. But I still think there's a light at the end of this tunnel!
[ ......He thinks she's suggesting lovers suicide??? This is like first semester all over again. ]
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?????????
He gets a look. ]
What do you think I want to go up there for?
[ NOT FOR THAT, MAN. ]
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g...ulps...... ]
W-Well, I don't imagine we'll be sparring...
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No, not tonight.
[ Pyrrha reaches to take his hand, hoping to find him accepting. ]
I just thought -- we can probably see the whole colony from up there.
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What's left of it, you mean. [ He says jokingly, before realizing that's probably not a laughing matter at all. ] ... I like that idea.
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